There are some people out there, mostly hippies, who believe that America’s best days are behind us, that we are no longer the best, most awesome country in the world. The solutions to our problems that are proposed by the politicians do not seem do not seem to work.
Fortunately, Frank J. Fleming has come to the rescue with his new book, How to Fix Everything in America Forever. In this book, he truly thinks outside the box with innovative yet commonsense solutions to the problems facing us and offers ways to make America even more awesome than it already is. These ideas include such proposals as requiring Congressmen to wear pain collars, banning whining, blowing up public schools and putting kids to work where they can learn marketable skills, punching hippies, and, of course, nuking the Moon. If we all follow Fleming’s proposals, we make America a nation to be feared and respected once again.
All joking aside, Fleming makes a number of very good points under the guise of satire, not least of which is that we have to get into the habit of solving our problems ourselves once again and not look to the government. Even at its best, the government helping people is like Godzilla rampaging through downtown Tokyo. As Fleming points out, relying on the government is like relying on Godzilla to save a baby from danger. Even if he does it successfully, there is still that trail of destruction he left behind.
This is why the epilogue of this book is about the most dangerous hippie of all, the one we see when we look in a mirror. It does little good to punch hippies all day long, if at the end of the day we listen to the hippie inside us that tells us we can’t do it on our own, we need to government to help and protect us. We need to shut that hippie inside us up so we can go about the work of making this a country even better than our forbearers gave us.
I hope that Frank J Fleming is successful in making his readers think a little while they are laughing, and I hope he writes more books like How to Fix Everything in America Forever. We need them.