My brother committed suicide last week. I am not going to relate the details on when and how this tragedy happened nor will I speculate on his motives. I will respect his privacy, and the privacy of his family. The only reason that I am writing this post for the sake of any reader who may be considering suicide
Contrary to what the theme song of M*A*S*H declares, suicide is not painless. It is painful, very painful, perhaps for the person who has killed himself but certainly for the loved ones left behind. They are left with questions that will never be answered. Why did their friend or relative choose suicide? Was there any way it could have prevented? Did they do anything to trigger the decision? When a person takes their life, they leave a hole in the hearts of everyone who was close to them.
No matter how bad things may seem, they can get better. As long as there is life, there is hope, that whatever problems you may have can get resolved, but once dead, that is the end of any hope. The problems do not go away, however. They become other people’s problems, along with the mess that any death creates. If you believe that your burdens are too much to bear, why would you want to shift them onto the shoulders of the people you love most?
My brother meticulously planned his death, for over a year. In hindsight There were signs that he was preparing to end his life, but no one put the pieces together until it was too late. How could they? He seemed content with his life, despite some setbacks. He hid his distress well.
Part of my brother’s planning was insuring that his children would be well provided for after his death. He believed that his death would ensure an inheritance large enough to take care of them. I do not know how much money they are going to inherit. I do know, looking at their faces, that they would rather have their Dad back thaany amount of money
If anyone reading this post is considering suicide, please, please get help. Talk to someone, a friend, a counselor, clergy, anyone. If there is something eating away at you, don’t keep it to yourself. Open up to someone. If everything seems hopeless, think again. You cannot know what new reasons for hope tomorrow may bring. If you do not care about yourself, think about the impact on the people around you. Suicide is never the answer.