The Holiday That Must Not Be Named

A Christmas tree inside a home.
Happy generic winter Holiday

I don’t know about you, but I really love the Holiday season. I like Holiday carols and Holiday gifts and the whole Holiday spirit. We have already put up our Holiday tree and our Holiday decorations and we are eagerly awaiting a visit from Santa Claus on the Holiday Eve.

It seems to me that the Holiday used to have a name, but I cannot for the life of me recall what that name is. I think it began with a “c” or a “k”. Kissmus perhaps. Anyway, it turned out that the name of the Holiday was so offensive that it should never be spoken aloud.

I wonder if the original name of the Holiday might have something to do with the filthiest, most obscene word in the English language. The word that must never sully the ears of innocent children. The word that is far worse that f—

I am referring, of course, to the G-word. Come to think of it, I seem to recall a story about someone, Christ?, being born on the Holiday. Some people say he is the son of, oops, almost wrote it. I can see how that could be offensive to any right thinking person.