Posts Tagged ‘frank j fleming’

How to Fix Everything in America Forever

December 7, 2012

There are some people out there, mostly hippies, who believe that America’s best days are behind us, that we are no longer the best, most awesome country in the world. The solutions to our problems that are proposed by the politicians do not seem do not seem to work.

Fortunately, Frank J. Fleming has come to the rescue with his new book, How to Fix Everything in America Forever. In this book, he truly thinks outside the box with innovative yet commonsense solutions to the problems facing us and offers ways to make America even more awesome than it already is. These ideas include such proposals as requiring Congressmen to wear pain collars, banning whining, blowing up public schools and putting kids to work where they can learn marketable skills, punching hippies, and, of course, nuking the Moon. If we all follow Fleming’s proposals, we make America a nation to be feared and respected once again.

All joking aside, Fleming makes a number of very good points under the guise of satire, not least of which is that we have to get into the habit of solving our problems ourselves once again and not look to the government. Even at its best, the government helping people is like Godzilla rampaging through downtown Tokyo. As Fleming points out, relying on the government is like relying on Godzilla to save a baby from danger. Even if he does it successfully, there is still that trail of destruction he left behind.

This is why the epilogue of this book is about the most dangerous hippie of all, the one we see when we look in a mirror. It does little good to punch hippies all day long, if at the end of the day we listen to the hippie inside us that tells us we can’t do it on our own, we need to government to help and protect us.  We need to shut that hippie inside us up so we can go about the work of making this a country even better than our forbearers gave us.

I  hope that Frank J Fleming is successful in making his readers think a little while they are laughing, and I hope he writes more books like How to Fix Everything in America Forever. We need them.

 

I Got a Tingle Up my Leg

December 4, 2011

Are you feeling just a bit discouraged because the Republicans have been preventing Barack Obama from bringing the hope and change we need? Do you find yourself no longer admiring the crease in his pants as much as you used to? Does listening to the One’s speeches no longer give you quite the same tingle up your leg? Then you need to read Frank J. Fleming’s Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything.

You will be reminded once again of the dark times in the BO (Before Obama) era. You will be able to relive the wonder and glory of The One’s election, of his masterful administration, his ingenious policies. You will recall His daring foreign policy in which He travelled around the world apologized for America’s many transgressions.  Best of all, Fleming provides the facts you need to refute the suggestions from your racist friends and neighbors that Obama may not be the Greatest President Ever.

 

And, if you don’t happen to be an Obama fan, you’ll at least have a few good laughs as the country and the economy goes down the toilet. Fleming really is a brilliant and hilarious satirist. Let’s hope this is just the first of many, many books

 

Frank J. Fleming Gets It

May 12, 2011

Frank J. Fleming writes political humor at his blog IMAO. He’s really good at it. His piece in Pajamas Media “The Idle Rich vs. the Working Rich” is funny but is also profoundly true in ways that are not usually spoken of. What I mean is that he has mentioned the obvious, but somehow little noted fact that there are not really any poor people in contemporary America, only degrees of the wealthy.

Let’s get one thing straight: We label people in the U.S. as poor, middle class, and rich, but that is all utter bull. I mean, look at what we call poor in this country. Poor people have cars, cell phones, TV with hundreds of channels, the internet, electricity, running water — these are riches even the wealthiest of a hundred years or so ago couldn’t even dream of having. And look at our poor compared to actual poor people in other countries — not poor in the sense that they have to buy store brand soda but poor in that they could easily starve to death in the streets.

When you look at other countries and the history of the world in general, we are all just amazingly, unbelievably wealthy in this country. We have technology and opportunities that are insane; we can’t even comprehend how well off we are compared to people who used to have to live in huts and fight for every meal. When you look at it objectively, every one of us in this country is a billionaire. And what did we do to earn all this incredible wealth? For most of us, the answer is: absolutely nothing. We were just born with it. So we take it for granted. And we demand even more.

I actually figured this out some years ago when I happened to be reading a newspaper story on the wretched poor of  the eastern mountains of Kentucky. I stopped reading when I came across a description of the awful trailer someone was living in, that included a satellite dish. I didn’t have satellite television. I did not consider myself to be particularly poor, and it occurred to me that these people couldn’t be considered poor in any reasonable sense of the term if they could afford to have a satellite dish.

But Frank Fleming gets better when he discusses the reasons for this amazing wealth.

There is another type of rich person, though — the working rich. The people who create. These are the people who made all the benefits we enjoy in society today. Thanks to their creativity and initiative, we have all the technological marvels we enjoy today. Because of their hard work, we have all these companies that give us cushy 9-to-5 jobs where we earn sums of money most of the world couldn’t even imagine possessing. And are we thankful? Do we say, “Thank you, rich people, for making all these things so we can benefit from them. I can’t even believe how simple and easy my life is because of you”? No, we demand more from them, because we’re the idle rich, and we think the working rich owe us everything.

He’s right. I don’t mean to start sounding like Ayn Rand, but we all are incredibly ungrateful to the people who have built our society. Instead of praising them, we condemn them as being greedy and demand that they pay their “fair share”.

Frank Fleming’s solution is elegant, and I think, doable. Deport all the whiners. If you are not going to contribute and you won’t shut up and be grateful, than go elsewhere.


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